Becca’s Blog

Whatever I make I rip apart with my own insecurities. For that reason alone is why I mainly never committed to making a YouTube channel about my story. Felt staged and not authentic. Which is the whole point of this blog, so I figure if I just start typing I can just be real for once. I'm not good with words. I’m not good at expressing myself either. It’s always been something I struggle hard with. I feel like I constantly hide behind this happy mask I put on for everyone so I don’t have to talk about my feelings. I never was one to open up and talk about my problems unless asked about myself, in which case I simple answer with the “oh I’m good! Just been keeping myself busy.” It’s an easy response that doesn’t require deep conversation. How could I really expect someone to truly understand my mind when they have no clue what I lived through? What I deal with on a constant basis due to my cpstd. I'm mad at myself because talking about my past you think would help or heal in som...