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Happy

 I’ve decided I just want to be happy. I know I haven’t blogged for months but I think that’s just how I am, the pressure of feeling like I’m writing for someone else isn’t really why I decided to write in the first place. I started to feel relief when I got out what I was thinking, not really worried about what my writing sounded like because, and the end of the day, this is my story, my blog, my experience, good and bad. Yes I’ve had an extremely rough childhood, but the doesn’t define who I am. At least not who I am now. You know how they say people change over time? Oh boy they absolutely weren’t kidding that you do change mentally all the time. Since moving to Virginia this last fall I can’t say that I’m the same super anxious scared luke warm Christian girl moving big for the first time in her life to me now. My faith and my relationship that I’ve grown recently with God has made me truly realize what life is really all about, we all just want happiness. So I’ve decided I’m doing what I want and choosing peace. I’m closing doors to old relationships (friends & family) and the pain and anger I’ve held onto it for years, for what, and why? The only one getting hurt was me and I deserve better than that. I didn’t realize the hurt I felt for whatever reason was me not letting go and just moving on. But instead I couldn’t stop thinking about situations over and over in my head until I became so consumed I wasn’t doing me anymore. I was always checking in on what they were doing on social media, and getting re hurt that they didn’t “need” me anymore. I was just so focus on the hurt. Well life is way to short to be dwelling on the past. Sure it hurt, and it can. But the difference is now I’m allowing space to feel those emotions but then I’m moving on because that’s what I need. It’s been a long time since I finally put myself first and set boundaries I’ve never had is hard but I’m so proud of myself. I’m proud I’ve always had the strength to get up even on hard days (cuz trust me just cuz you live a happy life doesn’t mean hardship and sadness won’t find you cuz it will, that’s life lol) because everyday is an blessing. It’s all about mindset. Choose to focus on the small moments, listen to the different sounds all the birds make, how the grass blows with the wind as if it’s dancing, how the clouds sometimes can look like puppies or flowers, it’s all about how you see things. I’m reminded daily by all these little awesome little moments of life and it’s made me just feel so much assurance that everything is going to be okay and that God’s got this❤️ 

So even tho today started off all little wonky donkey I made the choice to sit down for a second and just breathe, read my daily affirmation book I’ve been sadly neglecting since my house has just been a crazy construction mess the past month, and reset my mind for the day. Because I can make today I good day. 

So I’m going to🌸

I hope you also decide to have a good day as well, you also deserve it

Bye for now😊

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