Becca’s Blog

  I’ve decided I just want to be happy. I know I haven’t blogged for months but I think that’s just how I am, the pressure of feeling like I’m writing for someone else isn’t really why I decided to write in the first place. I started to feel relief when I got out what I was thinking, not really worried about what my writing sounded like because, and the end of the day, this is my story, my blog, my experience, good and bad. Yes I’ve had an extremely rough childhood, but the doesn’t define who I am. At least not who I am now. You know how they say people change over time? Oh boy they absolutely weren’t kidding that you do change mentally all the time. Since moving to Virginia this last fall I can’t say that I’m the same super anxious scared luke warm Christian girl moving big for the first time in her life to me now. My faith and my relationship that I’ve grown recently with God has made me truly realize what life is really all about, we all just want happiness. So I’ve decided I’m ...

 I really do hate you. You never make me feel like I’m good enough, made me feel like I always had to compare lives, and who is living better or happier than I am. It use to be fun to be on to socialize with your girlies and constantly tag eachother in funny memes to random things that made you think of them and took the time out of their busy day to show you. Social media is suppose to be a fun and safe space for us all to create, yet I feel the exact opposite when I log on. Instead I’m constantly reminded by the friends I no longer have, my family isn’t anyway close like we all use to be. I find myself logging on daily just to scroll for validation and that people do care even if you moved to a different state. Why I thought I would have more people just even checking in to see how the move went, or how I’m enjoying Virginia, but then I realize people don’t care. People have their own lives to live that don’t include me anymore, so why would I wanna to be constantly reminded of w...

  Well, it has officially been a little over a month (already?) since I packed up everything & moved my little life all the way from Washington to Virginia. I can’t believe it’s already been that long. Time seriously feels like it’s flying. But with that being said I can truly say that I’m happy here, still adjusting to the little culture shock I got once I arrived, but I’m happy. I’m finding myself not so worried about things that overtook my mind in Washington & I can actually feel like I can breathe again. It’s almost like my mind & body needed this transition.   I needed away from all the rain, especially as we come into winter where my seasonal depression usually hits the hardest. I’ll be curious to just see if even just more sun will make me happier. Winter for whatever reason was always so hard for me, all the trees losing their leaves so quick you don’t really get much of a fall at all and it’s one of my favorite seasons. Here we get all four seasons and I’...

I always thought I’d forever be a Washington girl. I always talked about traveling the world but the thoughts of actually doing it never seemed as close as they actually were. But I guess that’s the crazy thing about life, you really never know what’s coming next. In a short month (if that) I will be packing up everything & moving to Virginia. Like across the country, different time zone, what? I still can’t process everything that’s been going absolutely insane in my head recently, like I’m so mentally tired recently I can hardly think. It’s a bittersweet chapter that I’m so excited for & yet fearing the unknown is an understatement. The thoughts of leaving my family make my heart hurt so bad. My family is my everything. My mom has literally been my rock through every hard stage I’ve had in my life & she has always been by my side. My entire family pretty much lives in Wa with a few exceptions so being the first one to really “leave” the nest is overwhelming, but I’m ready...

  I realized recently that just because my story is dark, doesn’t mean my content needs to be so dark. I’m not a dark person, I am at times, but I enjoy happiness. I love laughing and being silly. So to make all my post be so heavy & sad made me not want to write. I know I will have rough days and my healing journey is will be different from  everyone else but being so worried people will label me as someone who can’t “get over” the past, that I need to just “let go” & move on. I am moving on, but talking about it makes it so I don’t forget about my past cuz at the end of the day that story is me. Everything that has happened to me has made me become the girl I am today. A sweet, caring, sensitive, passionate, shy, sometimes funny person who really just wants to enjoy my time on this planet without sounding so corny but it’s true. I want to be aware of my emotions & be able to figure out why my mind thinks the way that it does, & if it’s an unhealthy thought I ...

     I know I've taken a few months break from my blog and that isn't because I'm super forgetful, well I mean i am, but the reason is because not up until recently have i actually started to make some progress again and not so stuck in the depression. want to know the secret? it's been around all along I just somehow keep forgetting about it and its importance. Self-care. it sounds silly and so cliché but I'm telling you recently I've started eating a healthier breakfast and choosing healthier snacks instead of my swiss rolls, made extra time for myself to practice my morning yoga and for a few days I've been doing really well and I'm proud of myself. I even started working again and have even been able to obtain some clients of my own! Its stressful sometimes like the days I'm really struggling and don't even want to get out of bed i just get up and tackle it and I'm really happy I've taken this step and have made a little reputation fo...